No love, how profound.

I finally got up the nerve to say I love and was correct in my assumption that it would not end in a flowery, romantic, happily ever after moment but instead in a broken heart. My broken heart to be exact.

I did my crying over this last night and I think that the tears are over for now. I was feeling pretty angry and hurt but that disappeared also.

I love Tony but he is not and will not be in love with me, this is a solid fact. No amount of any emotion will change that into the love that I wish with all of my heart he would feel.

Now I'm changing the rules of the game.

I put myself out there and I got myself hurt, I knew the chance that I was taking and I took it because as previously stated, why experience something half way?

So I experienced it, I will get over it, I will file it away with other experiences and I will learn from it. I will also discard it.

I put all of my feelings into this and I got all of my feelings hurt and now I will feel no more for him.

And that is the lie that I will continue to tell myself until I finally believe me.

Becky