4 am

Not being able to sleep is bad enough however, getting sucked into 2 of the worst chick flicks ever made is actually so much more tragic. Today was Tony's birthday. I had tickets for us to go to NYC but when he acted out at me last week, I knew he'd never come back and I got rid of them. I keep hoping to look outside and see him pull up or hear a knock at the door and have him want to talk or get a call telling me that he wants to come home. I know it won't happen. Just makes 4 am so much harder admitting it.