As much as I tell others to not accept blame or responsibility for other peoples actions, I sometimes find it hard not to do this to myself. I look back at the past year and I have to wonder if it really isn't just simply that I can not have a relationship. Maybe it was my fault and maybe I am truly a broken girl. There will always be that small insecurity hiding in the back of my mind even though I truly do understand that no matter what the conditions, neither of those relationships were meant to be a permanent thing. One had to straighten out his life and learn to love himself and the other, well....I honestly don't believe that our worlds would have worked together. His path lay in another direction then mine does. Really wish he'd stop being a douche and accept the olive branch of friendship that I've put forth. Seems a waste to end such a good friendship. But hey, I made the effort.
I found someone as broken as I am. I'm being smart and taking it ultra slow, thinking with my head instead of just blindly following my emotions. It's proving a bit more difficult than I'd expected. See, I usually have this nasty habit of taking the things that I have in common with someone and pushing that to the forefront while taking the things that don't connect and dismissing them. That way everyone is comfortable and happy.
With him I find that I don't have to do that. The ways that we differ compliment each other, our differences actually make our connections better. It's easy to be with him. Easy to talk to him, easy to be quiet, easy to be passionate, easy to be funny. It's as easy as breathing and that's all I ever wanted. Now I have it and it's terrifying me. Instead of feeling like I'm losing myself in him, I feel as if I found a part of myself instead.
My key will stay safely around my neck. But I think he crushed the lock.
Becky
I found someone as broken as I am. I'm being smart and taking it ultra slow, thinking with my head instead of just blindly following my emotions. It's proving a bit more difficult than I'd expected. See, I usually have this nasty habit of taking the things that I have in common with someone and pushing that to the forefront while taking the things that don't connect and dismissing them. That way everyone is comfortable and happy.
With him I find that I don't have to do that. The ways that we differ compliment each other, our differences actually make our connections better. It's easy to be with him. Easy to talk to him, easy to be quiet, easy to be passionate, easy to be funny. It's as easy as breathing and that's all I ever wanted. Now I have it and it's terrifying me. Instead of feeling like I'm losing myself in him, I feel as if I found a part of myself instead.
My key will stay safely around my neck. But I think he crushed the lock.
Becky
